Beep! Wait Ten Minutes! Beep! A Funny Smoke Alarm Tale
Beep…
wait ten minutes…beep!
This is how the torture began…
The upstairs landing smoke alarm, outside our bedroom has a depleted battery! well not completely dead as the blooming thing beeps like a budgie on crack!
Beep! Wait Five Minutes! Beep!…At first we ignored it and then the ’emergency chair’ was brought forth and we sprang into action, I held her legs as I can’t climb! she couldn’t twist the cover off said alarm! Then a kitchen knife was summoned and placed into the side of the alarm! Now we have a cracked alarm case and still the cover won’t move!
Emergency spatula was now summoned and inserted in between ceiling and alarm resulting in the whole alarm now off! and hanging by a wire! with artex everywhere! Problem sorted!…Slowly creep back to bed!
Lie down…drifting off!…
ZZZZZZZZZ
Then ‘BEEP’!
ARRRRRRGH!
Get up…
Beep!
Dog barks at beep, dog kicked up the arse! [Jokes no dogs were harmed in the making of this blog post!] still ‘beep’ goes alarm…
Blood pressure now rising, wine needed! can’t get wine as chair is blocking landing! Take alarm in hand and hit with heel of stiletto shoe!, heel falls off shoe and alarm beeps! Grrrrr! Manage to wedge side open to see battery, smash on wall to free battery! feeling smug as battery is now removed! Phew!
All back to bed.
3am alarm beeps
Dog barks from bathroom and flings himself at door to protect us,
I pull alarm completely away from ceiling and throw into garden from first floor window,
will call electrician later today, need sleep!
‘Beep! Wait 10 Minutes! Beep! A Funny Smoke Alarm Tale’
Was Written by Freddy Harris 2011
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